The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
from now on my penis is your penis
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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