ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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