I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
