I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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