I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
