your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
