Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
