Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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