I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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