"it" just moved
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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