Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
3pm strippers are depressing
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
