Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
