Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
