Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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