How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
