i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
