You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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