My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I had to cum in my sink.
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