what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
