:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
