i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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