I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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