what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
