Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
