I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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