Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
