I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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