I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
