Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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