hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
