do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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