shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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