Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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