I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
