Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
