Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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