I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
