Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
