I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We are two peas in an std pod
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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