he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
