we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
