it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
