It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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