I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I believe in your delicious
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
