You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
