Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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