dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
