i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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