I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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