Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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