The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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